but you can never leave.
I've been kind of a wreck lately so I haven't really had a clear enough mind to develop one strong flowing post. However, as usual, my nights have afforded me some fun things to share.
The kids have to write about a skill they have developed or wish could develop outside of school. If I have to read about another kid who thinks playing baseball makes him unique, wants to be a "machanik," or likes to draw because it expresses her feelings (When I'm sad I draw a frowny face in dark colors, when I'm happy I draw a happy face in yellows and oranges!) I'm going to hurt myself or others.
"Have you ever heard of a sport called soccer?!? Well, I'm gonna tell you aLL about it!" Some of the worst papers are the sports ones. The kids who write about sports tende to explain every single piece of equipment involved, including the brand. They then explain how the sport is played as if the person reading had never even heard of basketball before. I don't even read them anymore.
Bubbly handwriting? They get a C.
Kids who skip lines between paragraphs? They get a C, too.
Did they write 4 pages? B+.
Kids who ski to "spend time with their family"? Definitely C-.
Anyone who uses the word "canter" get's a B.
Last night there were a few gems. Once you've seen thousands of papers, any kind of flavor or personality that comes out in a kid's writing is a wonderful comic relief. Some of my recent favorites:
"Someone's art can be seen through many different persektives. Some people might think that Jackson Pollock's paintings look like puke."
"Whenever I dance, I always hear a lyric from my favorite song in my head. It is 'Hotel California' by The Eagles. 'Some dance to remember, some dance to forget.' I always dance to forget."
(What are you forgetting there, girlie? How your friend got gum in your hair last month?)
The best one for me, if only for "The Break-Up" reference is:
"When Michelangelo painted the 16th chapel, he didn't just wake up and do it in one day. You have to practice."
When you sit with the same group of people for 5 hours straight every night, several weeks in a row, you can't help but bond over your mutual desire to stab every 13 year old you see. Lately, however, we've been grading eachother's stories and quips.
"Hmm, I'd give that story a C in content and a B- in grammar. I didn't really understand where you were going with that story about your angry mother one and your sentences were a little choppy."
"Yeah, I'll give that one a B and an A because you didn't really give me any vibrant details about why the conversation you had with your love interest is giving you a bad day. But it was very well said, though. Very complex sentences. I appreciate your effort."
"Boy, sounds like you have a crisis, there!"
On our computer screens, we can label a kid as a "crisis" if we think he or she has issues. There are some pretty bad papers, but you become immune after a while. For anything to be a crisis, it has to mention wanting to harm other people or that the kid is being abused. If the kid writes that he's just been kicked out of his house for not being able to pay rent, not a crisis. If a kid mentions how he's depressed and wants to build things out of wood because his father always tells him he's not good enough, it's not a crisis. If a kid mentions living on the streets, it's not a crisis. But, if a kid mentions wanting to be an axe murderer, THAT'S a crisis. Do these people not realize that the former leads to the latter?
When someone gets a "Crisis Paper" they raise their hand and shout, "I have a crisis!"
My table and I were thinking about how wonderful it would be if one of us yelled "I have a crisis!" and then when meeting with the boss, you would proceed to explain a very embarassing and lengthy personal problem of your own.
I think I'm going to do it on my last day. Making corporate people uncomfortable is something I live for.
Catch you later on down the trail.
No comments:
Post a Comment