Monday, April 30, 2012

An Open Letter to Time Warner Cable

Dear (Representative Whose Contact Information I Was Given),

After a long time without having cable, I decided to upgrade my service to include a cable package when I was contacted by one of your representatives about a month ago.  On the phone I asked a million questions, verifying that the deal I was being offered was not too good to be true. I was offered to add cable for $20 more a month, plus to have one DVR and one regular cable box for free for two years. All I had to do was pay the $25 box fee and no installation fee.  After verifying again that this was no gimmick, I accepted and planned for a date to have my cable installed.

That date was this past Saturday, April 28, between 8am and 11am.  I waited around all morning and no one showed up.  At 11:15am I called your company.  The representative on the phone informed me that she was sorry that they had not come yet, and that I should be getting a free month of cable.  She also went on to tell me that the original work order did not have all of the necessary information for the technicians to install my cable.  For instance, no one had asked me what kind of televisions I have.  She put the correct information in the system and after thirty minutes on the phone, she was finally able to work everything out and told me someone would be at my house by 3pm.

Within 10 minutes of getting off of the phone, I received a "magic voicemail" saying that TWC had called me and that no one had answered, and so they figured that no one was home.  (On a side note: this has happened to my mother in the Albany area and other friends in Brooklyn). I called back the number less than 3 minutes later, only to get an automated message about rescheduling my appointment.  I had never received ANY missed calls and only one voicemail! I would blame this on my cellphone service, but I had already received a few phone calls that morning and had conducted a 30 minute phone conversation with one of your representatives just minutes before. How was it possible that I received this voicemail, and, how does it make any sense that the cable technicians could be so far away from my house already?  The logical plan would let me call back the actual technicians who were probably only 5 minutes away from my house so that they could come back.

So, frustrated and eager to get all of this over with - I have now been held hostage in my own home for fear of missing your arrival - I called your company back.  This time, I spoke with a woman who informed me that, yet again, there was incorrect information in my system.  She said that my phone number was not in your computers, which is a complete lie seeing how I did receive that magic voicemail.  I spent another half hour on the phone with her while she (again) worked everything out.  She said someone would be at my house by 7pm and that someone would call me soon to verify that I was home and to make sure they had the correct phone number.

After two hours with no "verification phone call," yet again my pained fingers dialed your company's phone number.  This time, I spoke with a very apologetic gentleman.  Much to my dismay, he told me that no notes had been written in your system AT ALL documenting my previous calls or problems or even the upgrade itself.  All of the ladies before him said that they had written notes that stated my new appointment time, the deal I was supposed to be getting, and that I should be getting a free month of cable.  He could not find any of this information.  Honestly, he was a really nice guy, but the news he shared was very distressing.  Because I did not want to take my frustration out on him, I asked to speak with a supervisor.

He put me through to the supervisor's line, where the woman speaking was NOT warm at all.  She was very confrontational and kept trying to twist what I was saying by blaming me for "not being home" and "not answering the phone" which is complete horse manure, seeing how I had been home and on the phone with your company for most of the day.  I do NOT need another gruff and insulting maternal figure in my life, Time Warner, I already have too many.  After explaining this entire situation, she went into my account to see.  She DID find my upgrade, but saw that it had me down as getting a second internet connection installed on top of the one I already have.  If I had not called and she didn't check this, she even admitted that I would have gotten a bill for this extra internet connection and that I would have had to call you (AGAIN) and get it fixed, and then wait to get a refund.  It seems that every time I call there is a surprise around every corner.  She finally was able to promise me that a technician would come to my house by 7pm.

I waited around, and a technician did finally come to my house. He seemed nice enough, but I would not really know since he did not speak to me and actually was on his tasteless BlueTooth the whole time. Everything else seemed fine, though, and he left.  The next day I found that every few minutes on BOTH of my televisions, the audio would cut out for 3-5 seconds.  I called you back, and waited on hold for ten minutes listening to static crackling of some kind disjointed sound not even worth the title of elevator music.  Then, the system hung up on me.  Because I am a glutton for punishment and because I like to hear television characters speak complete sentences, I called back and was put on hold for another 7 minutes. I finally spoke with someone.  I was able to fix one television by rebooting, but the other one still has audio problems.  Because I would rather not put myself through the time-consuming agony of dealing with your customer service a trillionth time, I would rather just guess what Detective Goren is saying for the 3-5 seconds every 2 minutes while he fiercely and movery attractively interrogates a criminal.  Really, it's not so bad. It makes the show much more interactive and engaging than it already is.

All I ask is that you do something to rectify this situation, to make it right.  I think one free month of cable is the LEAST you can do, so I look forward to hearing your response and explanation.


Saturday, April 28, 2012

I've Transitioned.

I've mostly been posting on  My life is consumed by academia!  While I still have intense feelings about bands and various sketchy male actors, during these past two semesters I've had to focus all of my writing energy on school-related things.

Rest assured that at some point I'll explain my most current obsession: Kiefer Sutherland.  In my head, he's like my version of a very attractive, less wholesome, more rock star Chuck Norris.

More on that later.  For now, I must go write a paper about how the sports industry is used to distract and politically train Americans.