ShakinShakinShakinShakinSHAKE

This is another music video of my nieces, set to Darren Hanlon's "Electric Skeleton." The girls are so funny in such a subtle, adorable way.

I had a dream

which was all a dream.

Shit.

Usually when I have pleasant dreams I wake up devastatingly disappointed.  Angry that the dream felt so real yet I woke up alone again in last year's Christmas pajamas.  This morning however, I actually felt hopeful.  I attribute this to the positive energy associated with my imaginary boyfriend Darren Hanlon.

Yes, I know I've discussed my feelings for him before, but this dream was pervasive.  In it I found myself performing with him in Woodstock, NY at a historical site.  The crowd loved us.  More importantly, they loved us together.  We crowd surfed in the dream.  I fell into the crowd and sank into the embracing appendages, their hands lifting me back onto the stage just before I hit the ground.  I could sing sweetly and we had a great performing chemistry.  Most importantly: he wanted me there!  While signing autographs after the show - even in the dream it was all a novelty... ME! SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS!  Both of our names were on the concert poster.  We joked and teased each other as we met our fans and scribbled on the thick paper with blue ball point pens.  I was on top of the world.  Even my sister was there having a great time!

After that the plot gets fuzzy, but I remember that it all ended with a phone call.  Darren invited me to perform with him in Australia next month, and I was excited about taking the days off from my job to go with him.  I still remember the feeling of the dream.  I was excited enough just to talk to him on the phone, so when he invited me to Australia it was the warmest and fuzziest feeling I've ever experienced in either waking or dream life.  It's nice to be reminded that good feelings do exist, especially when you feel a little beaten up and worse for the wear.  Dreams can do that.  They can give you a little taste of the potential of living.  You may never experience the actual situation of the dream, but you'll recognize the feeling, that's for sure.  For me, it's happened before and I know it will happen again.  I'm especially looking forward to this one!

I had a disturbing yet truthful conversation with a friend today about my affection for this man I do not know.  I think he was surprised at my choice given my track record of celebrity infatuations:

Friend: Is something wrong? He's not alcoholic, overweight, bearded, or old enough to be your father...
Me: hahahahaha no, I'm fine.
Friend: I even bet he's never ever been asked to play the role of a serial killer or pedophile in a movie, either.  Are you sure you're okay?

sigh.

I hope I get to go to Australia tonight!

What Does It Say About Me

“Pre-1990, I was just candy canes and lollipops and ice-cream cones and unicorns; I was happy-go-lucky!”

...that I would drop anyone for present-day Alec Baldwin?  Anyone.  Yes, even you, Nick Kinsey.  Even you, Darren Hanlon.  Even you, British dude I met at Footsy Magoo's.

Maybe it's his smart but goofy sense of humor.  Maybe it's his pouty lips.  Maybe it's his intimidating stature.  Maybe it's because he's so smooth and sophisticated.  Maybe it's his voice.  The man could read The Book of Mormon out loud to me and after I'd be begging for more.

Actually, above all, I think I just want to fix him.  Or at least make him feel better.  Mr. Baldwin, despite all of his success and the fact that a good majority of people enjoy him as a celebrity, still thinks he's sort of a failure.  He wishes he could carry at least one major movie as the lead.  What I relate to the most is his internal struggle between choosing a completely different path, disengaging while just living a normal life where all that's left to wonder is "Did the mail get here yet?" and wanting to be recognized as outstanding in his field.  He's never satisfied with what he's accomplished.  There's always more left to do.  Oh, Alec!  For realsies.  I get it.  I think we could have some great conversations together, among other things.

This whole chain of thoughts was jump-started by re-watching a really bad but really pathetically relatable movie, Suburban Girl.  After eating dinner at my cousin's house, it was randomly on television.  I first saw it on Netflix last fall, when my life was about to take a major turn and I was extremely sick in bed for quite a few days.  Just before college graduation.  Filled with anxiety about job prospects, romantic prospects, life prospects, and family issues combined with pneumonia AND bronchitis, I found myself virtually paralyzed and my room might as well have been quarantined.  While immobile, all I decided to do was read The Dharma Bums and watch Alec Baldwin movies.

I watched Suburban Girl at 2 o'clock in the morning.  It was eerily similar to my life, in the most detailed, weirdest way possible.  Try to ignore the fact that my "character" is played by a miserably dressed Sarah Michelle Gellar.  In the movie, "Brett" is an aspiring editor who ends up dating a much older, alcoholic, brilliant, charming, hilarious mentor-ish man (Alec).  Anyone who knows me knows this is right up my alley.  See here.  Did I mention that "Brett" also skipped third grade?  And that "Archie" (Baldwin) took her to see a marathon of Orson Welles movies.  The similarities are kind of scary.  Almost as disturbing as when I first watched this (starting at 4:00).   So startling that I jumped out of my bed, desperately hoping that someone else was up at that ungodly hour.  Thankfully, my friend Patrick was awake procrastinating while watching Fight Club.  I gushed and tried to explain how confused and touched and embarrassed I was that a 2007 movie starring Gellar could be so similar to my thoughts and feelings.  The main difference: in the beginning of the film she is dating an age-appropriate, modelesque douchey dead-behind-the-eyes-guy, which I can never see happening for me.

All I really want to take from the movie is that hopefully I'll someday date Alec Baldwin (or his real-life equivalent) and end up leaving him because I'll have learned what I need to from him and can move on to bigger and better things.  (Really, though, if I ever snag an Alec, I'm not going anywhere... until he dies, at least.)

This is what I say: any man who can keep his career going and stays sharp despite the whole world hearing him call his 11 year old daughter a pig on a voicemail message is alright with me.  After all, when was the last time you met an 11 year old girl that you didn't want to punt through the wall?

Read this devastating article and you'll see what I mean.


P.S. What do you think it would take to get a restraining order from someone like Alec? At least then he'd know who I am... I'm kidding! 


...of course...

Somethin' I know, somethin' I know, please don't tell me somethin' I know

Song version comparison time!  Yes, I've been listening to sonically "lighter" music (but not so much lighter lyrics?) lately.  Enjoy the tunes and let me know what you think of the relationship between Hanlon's acoustic cover and Fischer Z's 80s tune.

Still trying to figure this video out. 

Unfortunately the album version of Darren's cover isn't on YouTube.  He adds a bunch of crazy noises, including that weird percussion sandpaper thing from this video, as well as "car door open" sounds and other beeping and video game noises and whatnot.  Maybe I'll try to put it to a video sometime.  It's nice. 

Thoughts?