My cousin used to look like Aladdin. Now he looks like Fat Aladdin.

Last week I screened the new never-to-be-released-in-theaters Zach Galifianakis movie, "Visioneers." What was supposed to be a fun little get-together turned into an intimate viewing with just me and two other friends present. Everyone else was "busy." But it is no matter. We had a good time anyway. I did not reschedule the event because I needed time to gather photos for the "AMERICAN TUNT" contest. The makers of "Visioneers" let the fans send away for screening kits before the DVD was commercially released, hoping that this way they could generate buzz about the movie for free. I was more than happy to oblige them and send away for mine. If you sent away for a kit, you had the opportunity to enter the "AMERICAN TUNT CONTEST," which I promptly put myself into. Because I knew that I would never win the category for most attendees, I decided to go for Most Beardly Event. So, I donned my beard t-shirt and made Visioneers-themed cookies, which I thought came out pretty adorable, if only for the fact that they had a certain person's likeness on a couple of them. (You can tell the ones that were my first attempts at bearded faces, they're the scary Ahab-like blackbeards with piercing eyes and no noses). I'd like to share with you some pictures:

I could only send them one picture for the category, but here are the rest of them...

I will let you all know if anything comes of the contest. But I'm not holding my breath. Some group of hipsters from Williamsbeard will probably win.

As for the movie "Visioneers" itself, it was great. A very smart change of pace that showcases Galifianakis' goofy and intense presence as well as his superb acting skills. And I'm not just saying that because I have dug the man since the 7th grade - he was my equivalent of other girls' crushes on the Backstreet Boys and the like. As Jonatham Lethem says (more or less) in his essay, One or Two Things I Dunno About Cassavettes, the movie was "all about my life and everything I feel." And everything I believe. I don't want to give away the plot but let's just say that when the time comes, you'll find me in Undeveloped Area 37 working at a coffee shop. I just hope that when the Jeffers Corporation comes and puts that thing on my neck, there's some wonderful, full facial-haired man ready to do the deed if he deems it necessary.*

P.S. The joke from above is mine, not Galifianakis's. I was very excited when I accidentally wrote it during a recent conversation with a friend.

* By "do the deed" I do not mean what you think I mean. Far from it. Watch the movie.