Saturday, August 22, 2009

Pictures with Large Things Part 1



Last week I visited the lovely, animal-themed state of Minnesota. My good friend Michelle's very generous father flew me to their family cabin in Deerwood for 5 days of canoeing, sitting around, and various Paul Bunyan activities. It was a good time.

The highlight of the week of course was a trip to the wonderful Paul Bunyanland. With only a $13.95 admission price, what fantastic enchantments were in store! As I walked through those glorious gates, there was Paul himself to greet me! He asked how the weather was in Albany and I enthusiastically replied. What a nice guy. Funny-looking dog, though.



There was the famous Ghost Mine Shaft, a pitch black wooden shack that actually stays still but so dubiously fools the rider into thinking they are moving far down, down into the pits of mine hell (A roll of paper painted to look like stone moves against the fake window to create this deception. Brilliant.) The doors open to reveal two grinning, chilling pink glow-in-the-dark skeletons who have met their doom. For every 4 rides there was one attendant, but that was just fine. I enjoyed pressing the blaring buzzer and waiting in beautiful sun for a high school student to come and flip the ride switch.






Next stop was the very disorienting, magnetically affected mine shack (yes, another one!) I struggled to keep my balance and my watch synchronized as I wondered through to the end, finally escaping through the quite tidy outhouse. Phew! What a close one!








Caught frolicking with Babe (as seen above), Paul put me in Bunyanland jail. After a brief emotional breakdown, I think I adapted quite well. Michelle ended up in the cell next to me for a few as yet undisclosed alleged crimes (the court cases of which are still pending).







Here are some more miscellaneous highlights of this magical, extraordinary place hidden way back in a lush Minnesota field:













I want to meet the mailperson whose job it is to climb that ladder everyday... I bet that throughout the history of that box, at least three have fallen in.

Coming soon...pictures with other large mythic animals and an awesome playground complete with vikings and pirates!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

My cousin used to look like Aladdin. Now he looks like Fat Aladdin.



Last week I screened the new never-to-be-released-in-theaters Zach Galifianakis movie, "Visioneers." What was supposed to be a fun little get-together turned into an intimate viewing with just me and two other friends present. Everyone else was "busy." But it is no matter. We had a good time anyway. I did not reschedule the event because I needed time to gather photos for the "AMERICAN TUNT" contest. The makers of "Visioneers" let the fans send away for screening kits before the DVD was commercially released, hoping that this way they could generate buzz about the movie for free. I was more than happy to oblige them and send away for mine. If you sent away for a kit, you had the opportunity to enter the "AMERICAN TUNT CONTEST," which I promptly put myself into. Because I knew that I would never win the category for most attendees, I decided to go for Most Beardly Event. So, I donned my beard t-shirt and made Visioneers-themed cookies, which I thought came out pretty adorable, if only for the fact that they had a certain person's likeness on a couple of them. (You can tell the ones that were my first attempts at bearded faces, they're the scary Ahab-like blackbeards with piercing eyes and no noses). I'd like to share with you some pictures:

I could only send them one picture for the category, but here are the rest of them...






I will let you all know if anything comes of the contest. But I'm not holding my breath. Some group of hipsters from Williamsbeard will probably win.

As for the movie "Visioneers" itself, it was great. A very smart change of pace that showcases Galifianakis' goofy and intense presence as well as his superb acting skills. And I'm not just saying that because I have dug the man since the 7th grade - he was my equivalent of other girls' crushes on the Backstreet Boys and the like. As Jonatham Lethem says (more or less) in his essay, One or Two Things I Dunno About Cassavettes, the movie was "all about my life and everything I feel." And everything I believe. I don't want to give away the plot but let's just say that when the time comes, you'll find me in Undeveloped Area 37 working at a coffee shop. I just hope that when the Jeffers Corporation comes and puts that thing on my neck, there's some wonderful, full facial-haired man ready to do the deed if he deems it necessary.*

P.S. The joke from above is mine, not Galifianakis's. I was very excited when I accidentally wrote it during a recent conversation with a friend.

* By "do the deed" I do not mean what you think I mean. Far from it. Watch the movie.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Phase 1: Fizzical Phitness


I've been going to the gym since January-ish, and I have seen SOME results, but not that much. I think my body has gotten used the the usual elliptical, stairmaster, bike, occasional weight-lifting routine. Or it could be the fact that my average baked good consumption per week is well over the recommended per month. Regardless, I have decided to shock the hell out of my body. Not in the Death Row way, but in the holistic healing way.

Today was my first day of Bikram Yoga. I walked in as The Decemberists' "The Mariner's Revenge Song" played faintly at the front desk and I knew I was in my kind of place. For those of you who don't know (and up until last week I was one of you), Bikram Yoga is a set of 26 postures, each repeated twice, over a 90 minute class period. You start off with standing postures, then you work your way to the ground. All of the postures are in order the way that some guy named Bikram decided was best. You with me? So, you're in a room for 90 minutes doing stretches and holding poses such as "The Eagle" and "The Full Locust." Sounds pretty normal.

Except the fact that the room temperature is purposely set to a minimum of 105 degrees. There's the rub. Literally. Everyone drips with sweat, so embarassment and self-consciousness goes out the window - which I like. At times, when the instructor (a really nice young woman probably just a little older than myself), went around the room and gave people pointers and compliments, I felt like I was in elementary school. If I felt I was doing a pose particularly well I would push myself as hard as possible and glance at the teacher, hoping she noticed. I got a "Beautiful, Andrea!" and felt pretty fulfilled. It reminded me of when I would shush the kids at my "table" in 4th grade, folding my hands on my desk so tensely that I probably looked constipated, wishing so hard for the teacher to let us line up in our loafers first.

I went to the studio at 6:45 in the morning and thought I would be the only average person in a room full of champs. To my happy surprise, I was wrong. Someone else almost fainted and I didn't! I know this is a terrible outlook, but it's the simple things that make me rejoice. Not to say I wasn't dizzy a few times, or that I didn't almost collapse face down into my sweaty towels during the "Standing Bow" and "Toe Stand" poses.

...Okay, fine, so I fell once. But at least I didn't fart. That would have been unfortunate because I was next to a shaggy Robert Downey, Jr. lookalike.

Monday, August 3, 2009

New Title, New Outlook, New Perspective... I hope.


Hello, my friends, hello
Just writing to let you know
I think about posting every night
And I know it's late
But I couldn't wait
Hello

Better late than never. Just thought I'd introduce my new revamped blog perspective with a little Neil. Who could resist?

Yes yes, I have changed "Leave Your Keys in the Bowl" to the Jay-Z inspired "Sorry I'm a Champion." It's about time I changed some things around here. "LYKITB" is so 70's. And, for me personally, it's so two years ago. Time to stop living in the past. Pretty soon I'll be all growds up and in my own apartment somewhere near my nieces for a year or so to save money until embarking on some new adventure. Will I teach English to the brats in Germany? Will I jump aboard the Sea Shepherd? Will I give historical tours at some random old place? Will I be a famous comedian? Will I write for a television sohw? Will I work for a music festival? Will I have both of my legs? Well, Dude, we just don't know.

My blog is a reflection of myself. "Sorry I'm a Champion" can be interpreted in two ways. Some days I do feel like a champion, just getting through daily life, working two jobs in New York City makes you feel like one. After all, I'm graduating early (yikes!) and pretty self-sufficient minus that one or two calls a year to my parents where I drop hints for them to send me money to buy underwear and cold cuts. Other days, my awkward, dejected days, things happen where I don't feel like such a champion or I make a fool out of myself. (Example: While riding the escalator up to the platform after getting off the train in Albany, I looked through the glass and waved at a figure who I thought was my sister and darted in that direction towards her as soon as I reached the top. Much to my embarassment I had waved to her reflection and heard her laughing from the other side of the hallway, there where she was actually present.) On those days, "Sorry I'm a Champion" can be read as a more tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic, almost sheepish self-mockery.

I have been compiling notes and thoughts for a couple weeks now and I hope you enjoy my newly titled random writings.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Are you here for a case?






That's what I was asked when I stepped out of the elevator on the 8th floor of 401 Fifth Avenue. Are you here for a case? And I was offended. Because I was there to sit in the audience at People's Court. Do I look like a potential plaintiff or defendant on People's Court? I hope not. I like to think that at least I look like I could settle a small claims suit out of court with a little fisticuffs or bribery or blackmail. Actually, I hope to never be involved in a small claims suit at all, if I can avoid it. I think all I really have to do is never own a truck or buy rims online or have a deck installed by "Correct-A-Deck."

Those were the three cases I saw. And each and every time the People's Court music came on my insides shook with joy and I couldn't stop giggling.

Case #1
Really long and boring dispute about a roidraging Jersey guy using the wrong nails to install a deck. Only highlight: when the plaintiff showed a video of him removing parts of the faulty wood, his dog came into frame and he started yelling at it.

Case #2
Much more interesting. It began with the plaintiff, a 60 year old man, stomping to his podium wearing rubber gloves and carrying a large box. He opened the box with much anger, and then delicately removed his gloves and placed them on the table in front of him. The box had fancy tire rims that one would expect to see on an Escalade... he bought them to pimp out his Altima. This one ended pretty abruptly. The old man was suing the wrong person for the chrome flaking off his new bitchin' rims. He was supposed to go straight to the manufacturer.

Case #3
This was BY FAR the best one, and most television worthy. A man who's head probably weighed 5lb more because of his hair gel was suing his ex-girlfriend for throwing a bag of beer cans at his truck. He brought in the back of his truck for evidence. Words cannot explain how perfect this made my People's Court experience. The best part was that the woman's defense was: "I wasn't aiming for his truck, I was aiming for his head." She also tried to counter-sue for over $1000, for a depreciated $100 CD player and "being kicked out in the middle of the night." Judge Milian asked, "What's the $1000 for in regards to being kicked out in the middle of the night?" "For my rent that I've had to pay for the past few weeks." "Why should he pay your rent?" "I don't know." "That's right you don't know! Sometimes, honey, they're just not that into us. And ya gotta LET IT GO."

Other than the cases, the best part of my experience was that I got to sit next to James.

James is the tiny Asian man who goes to People's Court tapings EVERY DAY. He sat next to me, with a pile of pictures delicately placed on his lap. He thumbed through them gingerly, looking forward to yet another opportunity for his beloved Judge to sign them. A little brat was on set (the boss's son), destroying things and stealing portraits of the judge from the back, handing them out to the audience. James NEEDED one.

"James, why don't you let someone else have it? You have so many already. Let someone new have it."
"But but, this is the new one. I need it."

And he took the picture and buried it away in his satchel. Luckily, my companion that I went with got me a picture with him. It will be posted later. All in all, I think People's Court was the perfect way to spend my 20th birthday.



Wednesday, May 20, 2009

GayMaryKay Was Way More Than Okay to Me



I received terrible news last week, one of the nicest people I've ever met and one of my biggest supporters in my early comedy career passed away. Ellen Kobor (mostly known as GayMaryKay in the circle of friends we share) passed away after a brief illness. I didn't even know she was sick at all, and had randomly thought to contact her to say hello just two days before I heard the word. Really weird.

GayMaryKay and I took Mike Irwin's stand-up comedy class together in the fall of 2003. She was an incredibly bright and charming lady and I felt comfortable talking to her from the very first day we met. GMK was always so encouraging to everyone else, almost completely selfless in her ways. I'm sure that everyone who knew her at some point has received some little gift or token or tape of their favorite show or comedian from her. Once she even tried to take me out to do karaoke - she knew I loved it. Unfortunately, being the minor that I was, I was not allowed into the place. She felt terrible about it but I was just grateful for her efforts and her company. She got me my first real guest spot, opening for Rich Vos at the old Comedy Works when it was still at the Quality Inn in Glenmont. She contacted the owner and one night I got an e-mail and a call asking me to perform. I got my first show all because she asked and knew that Rich Vos was one of my favorite comedians at the time. When she came to my graduation party, she made it her duty to ensure that I was having a good time by submitting spontaneous songs to the DJ for my friends and I to sing.

When our stand-up teacher, Mike Irwin, became ill and passed away almost a year ago, from what I could see she was always there for his family. At his memorial service she made fantastic collages of pictures from class and his career. GMK was a giver. She lived in Hawaii and worked at Honolulu hospital, and I think she was even a paramedic at one point.

She was also a magnetic personality who dreampt and achieved big. While in Hawaii she became a radio host and that's where she got her start doing comedy. She had many friends, some from all over the globe, which was seen at her wake last Friday. The line was out the door and more than the usual 2 hours were definitely needed.

I'm really going to miss GMK, and I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't stay in touch with her as much as I would have liked. I truly appreciate everything she did for me and I wish I could tell her. Who knows, perhaps she will follow my blog from her own little piece of the Pacific Ocean in the sky. If so, I'd like to say... I miss you and Love & Aloha, GayMaryKay!

For her real published obituary, please click the following link:
http://www.poststar.com/articles/2009/05/13/community/announcements/obits/14773871.txt

Thursday, April 16, 2009

THESE ARE DIFFERENT THINGS!

Hey everyone, you've all been hearing about DIFFERENT THINGS, and now it's time you can finally watch it... without starting and stopping and all that rigamarole.

DIFFERENT THINGS is the movie that Kati and I made for the Campus Movie Fest. We had one week to make a short film up to 5 minutes long.

Rate it on the CampusMovie Fest website here: http://www.campusmoviefest.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/IdeaFlow.woa/wa/showAMovie?movieID=4572

Watch, rate, and comment as much as your little hearts desire.

Thanks to Hannah, Matt, Ben, Noah, Amanda, Cora, Michael, Julia, and ESPECIALLY KATI! Look out for the next installment of More Walking, Fewer Transfer's upcoming films! Wish us luck on the Regionals! They're May 2nd and hosted by Judah Friedlander. ALSO JOIN US THE WEEK BEFORE THE GRAND FINALE AT A FREE SCREENING OF OUR FILM ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHER WINNERS IN THE "NORTHERN REGION." KATI AND I WILL BE THERE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS FROM THE AUDIENCE!

http://www.campusmoviefest.com/nrgf/screening.html

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Is this your homework, Larry?


During my freshman year, I, similar to the majority of all NYU students, had to take a class called Writing the Essay. My experience was actually positive, very unlike the majority of all NYU students. Because I was in the Steinhardt School of Education at the time, I had to register for the special subsequent installment, Advanced College Essay. Even though I knew I was transferring into the College of Arts and Sciences - and knew that the class would be ultimately worthless to my history degree - I stayed in it anyway, and with gusto. In Advanced College Essay we analyzed Ghostface Killa in conjunction with a version of the much-covered "Hey Joe," listened to the Kings of Leon, watched "Wondershowzen," and even got to see an independent movie starring Josh Hartnett - the high school "best friend" of my instructor. All of that was swell, but I think the most wonderful thing about the class was getting to write a paper about my favorite movie, The Big Lebowski. (Just now, by accident, I typed The Bi Lebowski and if I ever make my way into the adult film industry - hey, anything to get rid of those pesky loans! - I will consider this as my debut project.). Everyone who knows anything about my being knows that I'm a rather large fan. One of the comedians at a club I used to be a seater/greeter/late show emcee at when I was a wee lass of 14 introduced me to the film. I remember the first time I watched it, I HATED it. Probable because I fell asleep and woke up during the dream sequence. I dropped in from my slumber just to see what condition the condition was in, and I was confused. Then something made me watch it again. And again. And again and... well, there I go ramblin' again. Let's just say I've had my toes painted green.


My essay was a major labor of love. It's an intense analysis of the Eastern and Western philosophies that are inherent in the film, with a little bit of a noir lens thrown in there for you cinema dudes, but then... well, you'll see. I subconciously formatted my argument within the same structure of the film. It must have slipped itself in after countless viewings. Because I'm shamelessly proud of it and want everyone I know to read it (especially fellow fans!) and because I'm afraid of losing the document to the infinite electronic abyss, and because I'm just plain vain, I wanted to post it right here on my blog. (I'm pretty sure I can hear a groan from all of you who are sick of hearing and reading it, but who cares! A girl's gotta be proud of something!)

Enjoy! And let me know what you think. I apologize for punctuation, spacing, and italic flaws. But I'm a little too lazy to correct it all, and I think The Dude would abide.


Nomenclature is Not The Preferred Nomenclature


The flickering candlelight reveals a close-up on the Dude’s oddly feminine and well-kempt feet, toes protruding delicately from the murky soapy water; resting on the far side of the pale pastel pink tub. We can hear the mellow, muffled cassette tape titled, “Songs of the Whale.” The Dude, in all his 45-year-old shaggy-haired glory, smokes a tiny joint, and chokes on his toke at the ringing of the phone. The camera quickly cuts away again, but this time to the answering machine, then back to The Dude, blowing smoke serenely with his eyes closed. The voice we hear is from the L.A.P.D., informing the Dude that his stolen car has been recovered.

“Far out, man…Far fucking out…” we hear the Dude exhale in a reefer-filled whisper, as the tail end of his rejoicing is disturbed by the loud banging of the Nihilists’ baseball bat on his answering machine. The Dude tries to see the ruckus out of the bathroom doorway, declaring “This is a private residence, man!” as three blonde-haired, thin German Nihilists are revealed. As they approach The Dude, the camera follows their boots and the viewer sees that one of them is walking an amphibious rodent – a ferret – on a leash. The Dude nods his head and leans over slightly to look at it, visibly annoyed and mistakenly commenting, “Nice marmot.” We now see the three wan German Nihilists from The Dude’s point of view in the tub, as one of them picks up the rodent and drops it in the water, right between the Dude’s laughable chicken legs. “Where is ze money, Lebowski?!” the Nihilists shout. The Dude, our protagonist in The Big Lebowski played by Jeff Bridges, is a mellow, lazy guy who, in the parlance of our times, does his own proverbial “thing,” and gets mixed up in a confusingly hilarious plot of greed and clashing ideologies. The Nihilists declare that they “believe in nuzzing,” yet they are actively pursuing monetary gain. The Dude is the true Nihilist – he’s too lazy to care…or is it that he’s too wise?

The Big Lebowski is a film about Jeffrey Lebowski – The Dude - whose rug is soiled by two thugs searching for the “other Jeffrey Lebowski, the millionaire,” whose wife owes money all over town. Walter Sobchak, The Dude’s Vietnam vet best friend, convinces him to seek out the millionaire – referred to as “The Big Lebowski” – to compensate him for his decorative loss (the rug really tied the room together). Mr. Lebowski yells, assuming that the Dude is looking for a free hand-out but when Lebowski’s wife is kidnapped, he entrusts the Dude to act as courier for the ransom money. From then on the plot develops into a complex and convoluted story, with, to quote the Dude, “a lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-you’s.”

He responds to the chaos around him by “abiding” through doing what he is told by various authoritative characters, eventually proclaiming, “Ah, fuck it,” when he realizes that all the falderal isn’t worth whatever compensation he might receive. The Dude rolls through life like his bowling ball down his alley, strikingly similar to the tumbling tumbleweed shown navigating the streets of Los Angeles in the very beginning of the film. He just is, very much like the Tao of Taoism. In fact, one of the rare times that he gets flustered, his friend Walter notices: “C’mon, you’re being very un-Dude,” – how about “un-Tao,” instead? As Zhuangzi, an ancient leader of Taoism, wrote: “The Tao cannot be seen: if you see it, it is not that. The Tao cannot be spoken, if you speak it, it is not that” ("Zhuangzi"). The Dude is effortless in his ways. No matter what happens he somehow always becomes “privy to the new shit” and things seem to work out for the best. As long as he keeps his mind limber and open – usually with the aid of a “strict drug regimen” – he is able to figure out all of the crazy happenings that unfold before him.

The beginning of the film shows us the Dude, donning a robe and jellies, in a brightly lit grocery store late at night. The contrast of his warm-colored clothing in the vibrant super-market really proves to set him apart from everybody else. He’s special, different. As he saunters through the aisle to the check-out counter, our narrator, The Stranger, startles our ears with his raspy cowboy voice, introducing this odd character: “Sometimes there’s a man . . . And I’m talkin’ about the Dude here - - sometimes there’s a man who, wal, he’s the man for his time’n place.” Another man who warrants a similar introduction is no one other than the Buddha himself. The Four Noble Truths and The Eightfold Path of Buddhism are eerily present within The Dude in The Big Lebowski.

For those who aren’t familiar with the whole Buddhist “Eastern thing,” the Four Noble Truths are: 1) Life is suffering, 2) Suffering is due to attachment, 3) Attachment can be overcome, and 4) There is a path for accomplishing this (“The Basics of Buddhist Wisdom”). Who’s more unattached than The Dude? He has no wife, no family, no kids, no job, no money, and he seems perfectly content. Tai-chi, bowling, driving around, the occasional acid flashback, drinking White Russians, and smoking marijuana just may be the Dude’s own abbreviated version of The Eightfold Path. After every time something significant happens to him, he’s either at the bowling alley, rolling a joint, or having a drink. One smashing example of this is when the millionaire Lebowski calls upon The Dude to act as courier. Brandt, The Big Lebowski’s assistant, ushers The Dude in to discuss the situation. It is awkward for the viewer to see the Dude in a dramatically dark room lit only by the serious fireplace, which The Big Lebowski is sitting in front of in his wheelchair with a blanket on his lap. Brandt stands solemnly in his tailored suit between the two men with his head down, arms stiff at his side, fingers spread apart robotically. The Dude, however, is dressed in a light-colored baseball t-shirt and leans back in his chair listening to The Big Lebowski blubber about his manhood and the alleged kidnapping. The Dude interrupts: “Mind if I do a jay?” This juxtaposition is visually intoxicating. In this Western World, The Dude keeps his Eastern composure and stays on track in the face of trouble which turns out to be a scam, anyway. The viewer learns a Buddhist lesson from The Big Lebowski. Once The Dude experiences attachment through desire – or in Sanskrit, “trishna” – of compensation for his rug, life isn’t so pleasant. Suddenly he’s responsible for the removal of a woman’s toe, the destruction of a corvette, and the death of his friend.

When The Dude eventually refuses monetary gain, he finally gets his “Dudeness” back and in the end shares his motto with The Stranger, “The Dude abides.” “Abiding” is essentially what Buddhists refer to as nirvana: “the letting go of clinging, hatred, and ignorance; the full acceptance of imperfection, impermanence, and interconnectedness of life” (“The Basics of Buddhist Wisdom”). One could argue that the Dude “abides” of everything because he’s too lazy to do anything else, but with this one should remember that the real Buddha did spend several years sitting under a tree until he was Enlightened. Perhaps this was The Dude in college, “occupying various administration buildings” and smoking Thai stick. When The Dude and The Stranger are sitting at the bowling alley bar for the first time together, much is revealed. The Stranger offers The Dude a helpful aphorism: “Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar, wal, he eats you.” The Dude replies, “Is that some kind of Eastern thing?” to which The Stranger answers with twinkling eyes full of wisdom, “Far from it.”

The film accomplishes its wide appeal and taps into pop-cultural knowledge not only through various characters’ hilarious ravings about everything from Vietnam to hating the band The Eagles, but through the hodge-podge of different traditional genres. Robert Scholes, author of “On Reading a Video Text,” is concerned with this idea of American universal “cultural knowledge” that allows the Coen brothers to make such an intriguing film (205). The different genres present serve as a form of “cultural reinforcement” for the viewer (206). We notice the different elements fused together, which is refreshing because it serves as “a defense against the ever-present threat of boredom” (206). There is a little bit of everything in The Big Lebowski: a cowboy, part of a romance, comedy, a crime drama. . . there’s even a musical number resulting from a drug-induced stupor. All of these components would be considered very “Western” in essence, revealing American values such of entertainment, escape, and intrigue. The use of a Western archetype, the cowboy, to narrate an Eastern message is also truly fascinating. To display the Eastern values of the Dude in such a Western way is to poke fun at both sides of the ideological spectrum, as few aspects of life ever neatly and completely fit into one category or the other. Is sitting under a tree for several years actually fruitful meditation or just an excuse to leave your wife and take a load off? As Brandt would say, “Well, Dude, we just don’t know.”

There are a few times during the film that the viewer feels like he or she should be taking notes, especially when trying to figure out the significance of the very surreal scene that takes place at pornographer Jackie Treehorn’s so-called “garden party.” Topless women are tossed in into the nighttime sky near a bon-fire by the blanket held by a circle of men gazing up at them with mouths agape in ecstasy. All of this occurs in slow motion. Even the viewers who are also on a “strict drug regimen” will want to ask the Coens, in the parlance of our Dude, “What the fuck are you talking about!?” at least once during the movie. An episodic, seemingly unrelated plot is a vital characteristic to the most important genre that The Big Lebowski toys with: the Neo-Noir.

Lee Horsley, in an essay titled “An Introduction to Neo-Noir,” writes that Neo-Noirs, “draw on films and novels of earlier decades,” and this proves to be true. A sister Neo-Noir, L.A. Confidential, was inspired by James Ellroy’s L.A. Quartet series of noir novels, and the Coen brothers were influenced by writer Raymond Chandler and 1946 private-eye flick, The Big Sleep (“An Interview with The Coen Brothers”). L.A. Confidential can be considered the other side of The Big Lebowski. It gives us insight into The Dude’s “worthy adversaries,” the rich, the powerful. One of the Dude’s enemies is the fascist Malibu Chief of Police, and L.A. Confidential is a story about policemen like the Chief, who are caught up in a mixture of lies, corruption, sex, and murder. There are essentially the same elements in each film: political corruption, drugs, pornography, prostitution, and California. L.A. Confidential is set in 1953 and its events can be considered responsible for molding the corrupt world in which the Dude of the early 1990s lives. When compared to The Big Lebowski, L.A. Confidential is more of a classic noir as it deals more directly and literally with what Neo-Noir usually tackles: consumerism. The Big Lebowski deals with our American emphasis on material possessions and consumption, but with a more frivolous intricacy and an Eastern protagonist twist. Lee Horsley mentions Frederick Jameson and his essay titled “Postmodernism and Consumer Society” because Jameson poses this interesting question: “Are self-consciously ‘noir’ contemporary narratives to be seen as escaping from or engaging with contemporary issues?” (Horsley). For The Big Lebowski, the answer is both. Although the Coen brothers do leave little trinkets of repeated dialogue and images throughout the movie for devoted eagle-eye viewers to spot and wring out extensive meaning, they also provide the more passive viewer with more obvious jokes.

At the end of a classic Neo-Noir such as L.A. Confidential, loose ends are tightly tied like the shoelaces of an accomplished adult, similar to the works of Raymond Chandler consisting of tiny little interactions that perpetuate the plot. The “ins and outs” of the incongruous events are curtly explained, leaving the viewer thinking, “Ahh, now I get it.” This is not the case in The Big Lebowski, whose end resembles the loose double-knots and bunny ears of the too-long shoelaces of your average toddler. Not everything ends up making sense, and the viewers are on their own if they want some kind of definite answer. The Coens aren’t concerned with – or, perhaps, are above – providing analyses of their films. It’s up to the viewer to provide meaning for themselves. But that’s how, according to The Stranger, “The whole durned human comedy keeps perpetuatin’ itself:” our lives’ distinctive events may not always be overwhelmingly meaningful upon first glance. To bring back some Eastern perspective, The Western Stranger is promoting the Buddhist principle of “anatman,” or the notion that all things are interconnected and interdependent; nothing has a separate existence (“The Basics of Buddhist Wisdom”).

One of the most brilliant characters actually appears in the film only twice. The arch-nemesis of The Dude is portrayed in a dramatic, slow-motion shot, complete with his own theme song (The Gypsy King’s rendition of The Eagles’s classic “Hotel California”) and lavender jumpsuit. The music builds and swells as Jesus Quintana – no, not Jesus – rolls an emphatic strike and poses in a flamingo-like fashion after his success. The Coens let the characters spend a significant amount of time revealing the background of the character, even employing a rapid flashback to show us his mandatory door-to-door punishment of announcing to his pederasty to his neighbors.

The character Jesus Quintana tends to be the most momentous part of the film to the viewer but really has nothing to do with the rest of the plot . . . or does he? Perhaps if the movie was given a little more time we might have seen the second coming of Jesus as a distant relative of Bunny’s or a former member of the German Nihilists’ techno-pop group, “Autobahn.” Even if this didn’t turn out to be the case, sometimes the most significant events in our lives are the moments that last just a few seconds. Neo-Noir and Eastern philosophy are serious in their critiques of the human existence; the Coens are not. Life’s peculiarity is beyond labeling or classifying, as the message of The Big Lebowski isn’t in the Dude himself, but in getting it from him. Although it is usually detrimental to dissect and inspect films, The Big Lebowski is one of the few whose value increases exponentially with each viewing. If we think hard enough or let a sufficient amount of time pass, we can provide some kind of explanation and label for anything if we really want to – except maybe the floating topless women.


WORKS CITED

"An Interview with The Coen Brothers, Joel and Ethan about "The Big Lebowski".
"IndieWire. 02 Mar 2007. Coen Brothers. 29 Mar 2007 .

Boeree, C. George . "The Basics of Buddhist Wisdom." Shippensburg University. 29 Mar
2007 .

Horsley, Lee. "An Introduction to Neo-Noir." Neo-Noir. 02 Mar 2007. Crime Culture. 29
Mar 2007 .

Pregadio, Fabrizio. "Zhangzi." Taoism and the Taoist Canon. 02 Mar 2007. Stanford
University Department of Religious Studies. 29 Mar 2007
.

Scholes, Robert. "On Reading a Video Text". The Advanced College Essay: Education
and the Professions. Ed. William M. Morgan and Pat C. Hoy II.
Boston: Pearson Custom Publishing, 2007. 205-206.



Perhaps next I will share my Moby-Dick paper with you all, for it is titled "Monkey See, Monkey Do, Monkey Die."

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Short, Cold Winter (Break)






Since I've been home this winter break, I've been staying at my sister's house. Because they just had a new baby, there is no longer a guest room. I'm okay with this. It means I get to sleep in the double-decker palace that is my 4 year old niece's brand new bunk bed, complete with Dora the Explorer Sheets. I sleep in the twin bed on the top and the little rascal gets the full-size mattress on the bottom with the Camp Rock sheets and pictures of the Jonas Brothers that line the wall of her cave. Never in my life have I owned or slept in any size bed other than a twin, and for that I resent her just a little bit. Also, she snores. My resentment, however, fades away when she most amusingly makes up songs with my nickname in them (I'm Aunt Zeldy).


I think I've been at home for a couple weeks now, and despite the usual, ever-present, fret-filled and creaky cogs that turn in my head, I can say I'm doing alright. The most interesting experience I've had in these past two weeks, and perhaps in my entire life so far, is witnessing the birth of my new baby niece. I was present for everything, from the early stages of labor while I was singing and drumming for my virtual band "Cake Ball" in Rock Band, to when the placenta was caught in a garbage can. Being up for over 24 hours is well-worth it when it comes to ushering a brand new life into the world. I can't take credit for the kid or anything, but I can say I've known her the longest! Right now all she does is sleep, and occasionally poop and pee while my brother-in-law is changing her. Sometimes simultaneously - I find this narcoleptic timing rather impressive.


This experience, along with the large amount of time I've created for myself by refusing to get a job this winter has afforded me a great deal of time to contemplate, ruminate, sleep, and play with Bendaroos. These few weeks are probably going to be my last few weeks of idleness for a really really long time. I'm graduating in the fall, and after that I must get a real job with health insurance, hopefully to save money and go abroad. For now, however, I'm trying to relax and perhaps start doing the things I always put off to do school work. I've decided that within the next few months I need to get a lot done. These personal tasks range between everything from writing a song to developing a full opening comedy set, as well as watching, reading, and listening to anything that has to do with Orson Welles, Paul Newman, Moby Dick, whales in general, and pirates.

I really can't get enough Orson. I used to only want to look at pictures of him when he was young and dapper, but I've even grown warmly accustomed to that old, bearded, squishy face he had in his later years. Anyone who can eat himself to death and still be respected is someone I want to get to know in every way I can. Paul Newman was simply attractive - and generous. To watch both in "The Long, Hot Summer" was by far the best visual feast I've encountered in a long, long time. The way I feel about how I'll never meet Orson nor be enveloped by his behemoth being via conversation and hugs and how I'll never get to shake Paul Newman's hand (I'm leaving the hugs to my friend, Jackie, although I wouldn't refuse one if he offered), is the way I used to feel about the Backstreet Boys. One time I remember my former little girl self crying under a wall of posters because I knew I would never meet them. I have not cried for Orson or Paul yet, but I have been known to clutch a pillow during some of their more powerful movie moments. Their greatness is almost palpable and painful. I plan to name my next nameable thing, "Orson" as soon as I get the chance.

I'm going to now do what the professors who run the blog "A History of New York" do, ask you readers a question. (You should really hit up their blog, I'm going to add it to my side menu. It's fantastic)...

Does anyone else have these kinds of admirations? The objects of your admirations can be either alive or dead, of course. I just want to know if I'm alone on this, if I'm even crazier than everyone deems me to be.


As I sit and watch my niece stomp around singing, "I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm totally mad" and when I'm not being the DJ for her Camp Rock dance parties, and when I'm not fetching booties to put on the baby's claws so she doesn't gouge herself, I'm thinking and planning and making lists. Pretty soon, though, the lists need to start meaning something and getting done. Maybe I just don't know how to "take it easy" as the fucking Eagles say. I also can't hide my "lyin' eyes" when I don't have a "peaceful, easy feeling," but that's beside the point. (*Note: All of those songs sound EXACTLY alike. It's like they're the 70's version of Nickelback.)


Now that I've caught up on all of the hours of sleep lost due to finals and babies I should get to steppin' on all this stuff. It may be that the reason Welles & Newman were so successful is that they were always creating and performing and pushing themselves, especially Orson. He started very young and didn't stop until he died, even if that meant doing wonderfully awful and drunken wine commercials. I can't stand to waste another single minute and I get antsy and melancholy when I haven't produced anything for a while, be it a poem or a comedy set or even a really well-written and witty email. Still, maybe I should just really try to relax and enjoy the idleness. Maybe...


but probably not.


Saturday, December 20, 2008

Oh, Orson.

Watch him turn the interview around, insult Jerry Lewis, and be generally and pudgily adorabe.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

It's a mole? I thought it was a bullethole.


This is a video I made for my friend, Gaar, because he loves animal videos and recently mentioned the song "O Little Town of Bethlehem." In this excellent version, the tune is sung by the phenomenal Aaron Neville. I recommend all of his holiday hits. Enjoy!